Friday, October 26, 2012

Good Morning

Have you ever had one of those mornings where you wake up from the fog of dreamland with a smile on your face?  You can't exactly remember why you are smiling, or filled with that peaceful feeling, but you just know it's going to be a beautiful day.

Today has been one of those mornings.  I live a charmed life, if only in my dreams.

There is an expression I use to describe the way I feel, but only when I am being brutally honest.  I feel like a russian orphan, who curls up and dies because no one shows any love or affection to them.  Kinda harsh, I know, but truthful.  I never knew how much I needed to be held, and loved until my sweet husband was gone.  I ache for the security of those strong arms, and the knowledge that he would do absolutely anything for my love.

I've had an extremely hard time admitting that I have been lonely.  I don't know exactly why I feel that way.  It may be because I don't want to be weak, or that I'm too proud to admit that I need someone in my life.  I could just be because of the fact that I don't want to have to put myself out there again.

I had lunch with a darling friend of mine yesterday and we talked about all things related to family.  She and her husband have had to go the long way around to build their family, so she gets where I'm coming from.  She knows first hand what it feels like to be incomplete.  To long for something that you can't have.  She knows how hard it is to see happy families going about their day without a care in the world.

While talking to her I realized that one of the reasons that I don't like to admit to loneliness is because John is always with me.  How can I hurt him by still being lonely?  He's doing his best to watch over his family.  Talk about going the extra mile.

We realized together that people are always looking to us to be a pillar of strength, and that sometimes it's just to hard to take on that roll.  We understood that we were sent into each others lives at specific times to help and guide each other, but what about us?  Why are some people spared when we weren't?  Why are some people taught by example, but we had to be that example?  Sometimes that reality of our hardships are just that...super hard.

Sitting in my car after lunch, we talked and cried, and laughed because we were such "boo-waa-hoo-ers" (that's a Johnny word for bawl baby.  It usually ended with, should we call the waambulance?).  I looked at my beautiful friend and realized that without a doubt, I was loved.  Heavenly Father knew that this was going to take all the courage I could muster, and about ten times more than that.  He knew that at those times when my reserves were depleted, that I would need reinforcements.  Yesterday that reinforcement came in a tiny, blond haired body.  How grateful I am to be able to be lifted up by the courage, and validation of others.  To be shown that by complete and perfect love, all things are accomplished.

Thanks Erin.  Today wouldn't be a good one without having you as my friend.

20 comments:

  1. i want to be held. i relate to this all too well. maybe we need to have some guys on reserve just to be able to call them up whenever we need a hug and say 'get over here and hold me'.

    (that sounds creepy)

    i love you, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love your blog that makes me happy....

    [url=http://www.usmleworldwide.com/]Usmle Step 2 Books[/url]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Coffee and Lime tea is really not healthy; if you really want caffeine. The reason for this is that caffeine has been proven to reduce the amount of fat that you actually eat. It has also been found to help increase the amount of calories burned during the day in almost all cases. Caffeine is found in over 100 different drinks and foods and caffeine intake is shown to have numerous negative health effects. Coffee actually contains a large amount of caffeine if you consume a lot of it, as well as a lot of acid, which is actually quite unhealthy to consume and may actually damage your stomach and your intestines to the point of making it tough to absorb nutrients and vitamins. more..

      Delete
  3. families are rarely happy without a care in the world

    ReplyDelete
  4. A person can be lonely in a big crowd, it is when we realize that Jesus surrounds us with His love that we know he is there in us and with us.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I really think you will do much better in the future I appreciate every thing you've added to my information base. Bridal saree

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow! It is really fantastic scenery .I must go there with my family. Know more : Clipping Path

    ReplyDelete

  7. for me as a smart number provider,it can be useful also if you have a Internet Australiathat can be use.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The snapper in the htc one deals is similar to what we saw in the previous generation variant. We're talking 8-megapixel sensor, 5-element lens with f2.4 aperture. The snapper is a slim and yet it is an attribute of sweet low light mode, the sensor weigh the pixels in the image and Samsung Galaxy S4 Deals improve low light clicks to 2 f-stops. There is also cover sapphire crystal lens sweet. One of the most exciting new features to the iPhone is the attribute snapper stage. Users can now easily review the scene perpendicular to extract the best resolution, and shake your htc m8 deals. The Snapper corresponds grant users 28 MP panoramic phtotograph !

    http://www.iphone5sdealsuk.co.uk/
    http://www.eappleiphone5bestdealss.co.uk/
    http://www.esamsunggalaxys4dealsuk.co.uk/
    http://www.samsunggalaxys4deals-uk.co.uk/
    http://eappleiphone5bestdeals.co.uk/
    http://www.esamsunggalaxys4deals.co.uk/
    http://www.yessamsunggalaxys4deals.co.uk/
    http://www.htc-one-deals.co.uk/
    http://www.htconem8.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  9. amazing insight
    http://www.obamacare911.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. Something that will put anyone in a good mood is exotic car rental miami.. drive around in a Lamborghini and you're whole day turns around. mph club™

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks for sharing contents. Image looks profession. Very old information i found recently. clipping photo editing service

    ReplyDelete
  12. https://kocaeliguvennakliyat.com.tr/gebze-nakliyat.html
    https://kocaeliguvennakliyat.com.tr/gebze-evden-eve-nakliyat.html
    https://kocaeliguvennakliyat.com.tr/gebze-sehir-ici-nakliyat.html
    https://kocaeliguvennakliyat.com.tr/gebze-sehirler-arasi-nakliyat.html
    https://kocaeliguvennakliyat.com.tr/gebze-parca-esya-tasima.html
    https://kocaeliguvennakliyat.com.tr/gebze-asansorlü-nakliyat.html
    https://kocaeliguvennakliyat.com.tr/gebze-kucuk-nakliye.html
    https://kocaeliguvennakliyat.com.tr/gebze-esya-depolama.html

    ReplyDelete
  13. kocaeli güven nakliyat ile taşınmak artık hiç olmadığı kadar rahat. Kolay bir taşınma yapmak ve gerçekten konforlu bir evden eve nakliyat hizmeti almak için bizi tercih edebilirsiniz. Uzun mesafe ya da kısa mesafe olarak şehir içi ve şehirler arası evden eve taşıma işlemlerinizi yapıyoruz.
    Kapalı sac kasa kamyonlar ile taşıma yapıyor, eşyaları kalın ambalaj malzemeleri ile sarıyoruz. mobilyalarınızı en iyi şekilde söküp takıyoruz.

    ReplyDelete