March 17, 2010 marks what would be John's 35th birthday. It was a hard day, scratch that...couple of weeks. For some strange reason, I wasn't expecting it to be so hard, when in fact it was marginally harder than last year.
My sweet mother shares a birthday with my Johnny, which has always been tricky, but now it's just really hard. We went down in the morning to take her to breakfast. Mike, Lisa, their kids, and Danny met us at the restaurant. It was really great to be able to have that time with her, and have it be about only her. I still sat at the table and cried right in the middle of the restaurant.
Later, my parents came up to the cemetery, and me and the kids stood with them and re-lived our favorite memories of John. I found myself so chocked up that I couldn't even speak. Did I mention that it was a hard day???
In the evening, we asked Ivan and LuDene, and Shawn and Mel and the kids to come up and send balloons up with us. Last year we ended up with quite the party. I couldn't face that this year, but I knew I had to do something for the kids.
The very best thing that can come from really painful experiences like this is...I miss him fiercely because I loved him so completely. I am grateful for the little lessons in life that remind me of how far I've come, and how blessed I am.
Aunt Mel brought all the balloons, and generally takes wonderful care of us. We love you Mel!
Crazy Carters in action. Malorie and Savana came up last minute to help us. Love you guys
Ashton and Averie were so excited to write cute messages to their daddy.
Ivan, ready for the countdown
Ethan, has had a really hard time without his dad, but is doing well.
Shawn, writing his message! Such a great brother
LuDene, brave as ever!
love you and your family lisa...hang in there and ask for help when you need a hand to help...you inspire me
ReplyDeleteLisa! Love you girl! I'm sitting here reading this and looking at the pictures and crying like a baby. Wish I could have been there with you guys! Sure do miss you and the kids, and John! Can't wait to see you all in a few months!
ReplyDeleteThose hard days never seem to get easier. You have such great faith. You have more prayers than you realize. Hold tight!!! You are amazing!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteO Lisa I love you so much!!!!! You are so amazing!! We miss you John!!
ReplyDeletewow. it is always so interesting coming to your blog. the emotions we experience are just so much alike.
ReplyDeleteyou did it. you got through another one.
thinking of you...
What a great way to celebrate his birthday! That is awesome that everyone wrote little messages for John. Lisa, you are in my prayers, and I think of you often.
ReplyDeleteYou are so amazing! I don't know how you face each day with such grace and love. I am sitting here crying while reading this. I know John is with you, always watching over you and the kids. So grateful to call you my friend. Love you.
ReplyDeleteyour are such a strong woman! I agree with everyone else I cried when I read your post! Last week my husband burned his arm (from lower shoulder down to wrist) at work and it made me realize how much everything would change if I ever lost him.. I cant imagine what you are truly going through but I know it cant be easy. Remember how much all your friends and family love you. I'm so inspired by your strength and your willingness to share such a hard part of your life. Happy to have stumbled on your blog. God bless CMReed
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