I am thankful for all those who have helped me and my little family through the last sixteen months, but especially through the last few holidays. It's been really hard, and there are only a few people that would understand the exact degree of difficulty. In fact, I sit here now, physically sick with sadness. There are times that I wonder if my heart will actually survive, and not in the emotional sense, but the actual ability to continue to beat sense.
I wish there was a magic pill that would take all the pain away. If I could invent such a thing, I would be wealthy beyond Bill Gates standards. The problem is, the pain is there to teach us what is really important in life.
Hollywood makes family seem like a thing that we are saddled with when we are either irresponsible, or finally done having fun. And then, it's easily expendable, just get a good pre-nup and attorney and your good to go. However, if that is the case, then why is it so painful when a family falls apart? Why is it that when one family member is no longer here, there is a gaping hole that threatens to swallow you whole.
My testimony of family had grown infinitely through the loss of my sweetheart. I know that what we had here on this earth will continue into the eternities, but I miss him so much that the pain makes me make certain promises to myself about the things that I will do for the rest of this life and on and on. Here are a few of those promises.
- Say "I Love You" to everyone that I do love, as much as possible
- Hug more
- Pay attention to the small moments of life, they are the most important
- Acknowledge feelings for what they are, and deal with them appropriately.
- Stop worrying about what others think of me, only worry about what the Lord and my family thinks of me.
- Take time to watch a movie with the kids
- Read together as a family
- Laugh as often as you can, even if you have to make up an excuse.
- Make sure that the important people in your life know that they are important
- Trust your instincts, they are a gift of the spirit, and they won't lead you astray.