There is so much satisfaction that comes from growing your own produce. This year we planted peas, beans, potatoes, onions, broccoli, cabbage, brussel sprouts (oops, I thought John was still home. He's the only one that eats those nasty little things), tomatillos, peppers, tomatoes, corn and all kinds of squash. We also have several fruit trees. Two apple, (plus two more that were given to us by Pres. Porter), three plum, and an appricot. How fun to see the kids go out side and pick themselves a nice treat.
The thing that you don't give much thought to when you are joyfully planting is, "what in the world and I going to do with all this stuff?" Well the answer is about 4 weeks of energy burning, back breaking, hand crippling harvesting and canning. Oh how I hate that part.
I have a wonderful group of friends that have been crazy into canning, and boy have we gone to town. So far we have canned salsa, grape juice, plum jelly, apple sauce, apple pie filling, apple jelly, and the girls did spaghetti sauce, pickles, corn, beans, beets, and jalapino jelly without me yesterday. (I was busy having a full on panic attack about our Relief Society Fall Social, and taking LuDene to lunch for her birthday)
All of this got me thinking about the things that we do in life that maybe we don't want to do, but we love it when it's done. I think that this directly applies to our trials. We hate to even think that tough times exist, or that most likely we will experience them. They still loom out on the horizon. I wont claim that I am through my trial, but I will say that though this has been the most profoundly difficult thing that I have ever even come close to. It has also been the most spiritual, emotional, and mental growth that I have ever experienced. I know who I am. I know where I'm going. I am more driven that I have ever been to do the things that I know to be right, and to be an example while doing it. I am no longer afraid of how people see me, or if I'm doing what so and so down the street thinks I should be doing. I know what is right for me and my family, and there is nothing standing in my way.
This is the story of one woman's navigation through grief following the loss of her true love, and husband of almost eleven years. Questions of who am I now, questions of how to raise the kids alone, and leaning how to live again will be confronted, hopefully in a positive and meaningful light.