Monday, September 10, 2012

Highway to Heaven???

The past few weeks, I have realized that I took the car out of drive and put it on auto-pilot.  I was no longer in charge of what road I was on, or the stops that I would make.  I was sitting in the backseat, hoping that someone responsible was at the wheel.  Actually, most of the time, I didn't even realize that I was in the car, or paid attention to who was doing the driving.

Even now, as I type my thoughts on my sticky fingerprint laden laptop, I realize how dang frightening that is.  How could I take a backseat in my own life?  Why do I think that the right stops would be made, or the right turns will be taken, or the laws will be followed the way that I like to follow them?

To remedy this situation I have taken to my favorite form of self change, and I bought many many books...on CD (I have no time to read at this particular time in life).  I have stumbled upon some of the most wonderful advice, solace, comfort, and even criticism.  I have learned to cry unto repentance in a more humble, more meaningful way.  I have learned what it is to be a Daughter of Eve.  I have even learned to work for happiness.

I am taking my rightful place again in the front seat, and committing to never give it up again.  I will stay as a constant, and vigilant commuter on the road of my life.  There are times that I may navigate.   There are times that I must hold on to that wheel and plow through the construction, traffic, and potholes by myself.  Sooner or later though, there are patches of soft, freshly paved road, and breath taking scenery.  That's what I hold on to.  How better appreciate the calm, then to experience a storm?

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