Sleep Deprivation

Today was a fun, yet busy one.  I got to watch my sweet niece (4 year old Bella) and nephew (2 year old Riley) for a little while this morning.  We did some clean up (I'm sure it was the best part of their day), then we ran some errands, played at a playground, and had a little lunch.  There was even some shopping that had to be done after all the other running around.  Around one my brother came, and I begrudgingly let him take his kids home.

When my kids we little like that, I was a crazy person.  I felt like all I did all day was clean, cook, clean, change diapers, wipe up spills, cook again, and finally...clean.  I don't remember really taking time to notice how cute it was when Ashton and Averie would break out the Guitar Hero, and play rock star.  All I saw was the mess.  I didn't notice how dang cute it was that Ethan loved to take his pants off and wear my high heals around the house (The outfit usually also included a crazy hat of some kind).  I was overwhelmed and tired all the time.  I missed out big time!

What did I miss out on?  The joy of being a mom.  That storybook moment of holding sleeping children on my lap and reveling in the joys of parenthood.  I figured there would be nothing but time.  I planned on teaching the kids important things like cooking, coloring, singing, reading, spelling, etc.  I just never had time...or so I thought.  I figured that there is a season for all things.  Let me tell you now...Time is ticking by, don't procrastinate.

I'm now approaching the age where people are moving to the next stages of life.  I have forever felt like I didn't get to properly experience this one.  John and I were hoping to have more children, but that wasn't meant to be.  I figured that I would still have the opportunity at some point, but that may very well not be in the cards for me.  Sad?  You bet!  Should I take a holiday in Whine country?  I wish!  The only problem is,  I don't like to be sad all the time.  I have instead decided to take every opportunity to soak in this time in my kids lives, because as I have mentioned before...Life is incredibly short.

I sometimes just watch them play from a window above.  I like to listen to them invent games, and dialog for said games.  I love that Ethan is so into comedy and all things funny.  It makes my heart swell with pride when I hear a sweet little voice say "Bye mom.  I love you."

Let the good times roll.  I'm going to try to live in the present and enjoy what I have, instead of mourn what I don't.