Tonight, I am thankful for a good cry. It may sound silly to be thankful for such a thing, but I tend to stuff my emotions way down deep, so it takes some effort. Usually that effort comes in the form of a movie, or a song. Tonight, I watched Charlie St. Cloud, and cried like a kid grounded from their cell phone. I'm not kidding, I was hyperventilating and everything. It's not too often that movies can get grief right, but this one did a pretty good job.
The story is about a boy and his little brother. They were in a car wreck and the little brother dies. The older bother refuses to move on, and so he misses out on his life because he is holding so tightly to the past.
To say that it hit close to home would be a massive understatement. I can't tell you how many times I can feel that I have an almost choke hold on John. I feel like he can't move on as long as I am holding on so tight, and yet I can't let him go. I know that I wont forget him, and the he wont forget me, but it's just really hard to face. There are days that I can let him go a bit, but there are days that I need him close by. I don't really know that there is a right way or a wrong way to deal with loss. The only thing that I can do is keep on living.
So tonight I am thankful for that movie because it really made me re-evaluate my current thought patters and really think about how I want to heal.
Clane in charge.
16 hours ago